The fate game

Denial carries us a long way in life. It's pretty much the only way humans maintain sanity. Destiny means nothing. It is just a construct: something we created to make us feel better about our fate, to feel like we have something to follow purposefully to reach our final destination and state. Fate is the real truth--it is the point on which the randomness drops our data dot in the histogram of variation. Lost in a sea of stochastic possibilities, hoping to cling to the middle of the road, the typical response, the average lifespan filled with average or superior experiences.

Hoping against hope that we will only win the good lotteries, like the kind you by a ticket for, or the kind where you magically grab the correct number of forks from the drawer without trying, or get a sunny day on your birthday; and not the bad ones, like being on a plane that crashes, or the kind where you end up with two exciting events happening at the same time so you have to miss out on one, or have some of your cells overcome their checkpoints and forget their jobs and take over their home and ruin it. Fear keeps us hopeful, because otherwise why and how would we go on? Being afraid prompts us to compartmentalize and keep bad possibilities separated. But reality is: some of us are the datapoints in the unfavorable side of the histogram, and no matter how much we tighten it up around the mean, there will always be randomness and always be a spread. Ultimately, no matter how hard we try, we can't control our fate. Biology wins in the end, and we don't even know how to play the game.

If you look from far enough away, the lines seem sharp and well-defined, but trying to pin down their tracks is like trying to outline a pencil drawing with an airbrush: most of it goes in the middle of your aim but countless pixels spray in all directions. How can we hope to ever describe and understand that? How can we console the outliers and explain to them that there's no way we could have known? How can we do anything other than hope for miracles, even if we don't believe in them?

11 thoughts on “The fate game

  1. I hope everything is alright Arlenna and that you didn't just find out that you or someone close to you is an "outlier". Sending good thoughts your way.

  2. I spent the weekend with my cousin who is very, very sick. I'll talk about it more later, but it's very frustrating right now.

  3. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, and I hope he/she pulls through. This post really resonated with me. Hugs.

  4. My wife and I have this recurring argument. She says all the time that "everything happens for a reason", but I think that is nothing but a statement of faith. I, on the other hand, agree with everything you write, even though I would never have been able to articulate half as effectively. Hope you manage to keep your serenity through these trying times.

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